my fault
I messed up
I dropped the ball
I was not thinking
it’s all my fault
I say it all in jest
easier to get by
inside is a question
who am I?
maybe I need to look
study through another lens
and seek a new perspective
or soul to cleanse
maybe I really am wrong
not just an ignorant rant
hear the words of the song
slow down if you can’t
nature’s perfect chaos
smile at the imperfection
it’s not the end of the world
just time for a new direction
hope
lonely man
outstretched hand
silent mouth
headed south
vacant seat
people you meet
secret place
a happy face
warm meal
the anti steal
heart torn
spirit reborn
only son
fortunate one
absent frown
skills abound
eyes above
truth in love
no limit
no gimmick
now staying true
watch what he can do
me?
what people see
really is not me
different inside
lord knows I try
pulled between two extremes
I know what it all means
but instead I hide
perfect hair, fake “Hi”s
its just more easy
less they really see me
but I cannot regret at the end
I must write the letters I send
take the chance
open the door
the honest enhance
and there is more
open the closet of fear
wear what you thought they’d jeer
start to end the lie
a worker bee goodbye
leave the false friends
cash at ATM’s
the work in Orwell’s den
open the shades
sign your name
stand up without aide
of tricks to play the game
some will always betray
but pure self is strong
dark night is part of day
not always a happy song
feel the morning sun
in a pure soul of real
the fake facade undone
a smile only truth can feel
6 figures
Why do I need money?
Do I need to be rich?
Money is just paper,
materialism‘s bitch.
But to be rich at heart,
investing in my mind,
wisdom from listening
experience a lifetime.
Deposit hugs and love,
crayon drawings for the fridge.
Not sports cars and watches,
or the escorts I did.
I want to spend my love,
on family and friends.
Not at the mega mall
where the sale never ends.
I can be rich.
Rich with memories,
cashing out the wisdom
from all my life market receipts.
So,
why do I need the paper?
620 am
6-19-12, 620 am, GPS Lat: 26.61521, Long: -80.08196, hello world!!!
thank you dad
upset over nothing
angry at the world
I needed support
so I called my dad
he was calm
he knew what to say
patient words of wisdom
he wanted it this way
tears and screams
I let it all out
he listened to my anger
he listened to me pout
he settled my thoughts
I began to feel better
thank you dad
I look forward to your letter
the plan
welcome to your plan
I hope you studied all you can
come inside, feel at home
now you know you are never alone
stiff bed, dusty room
face to face with your ultimate doom
stand from inside, look eye to eye
and your hope will never die
float through your mind
watch for the sign
enter into my space
let me take you from this place
see your mistake
change your fate
for there still may be time to escape
addict
alone again
my only friend
by choice, however
not to last forever
just right now
until I know how
to see my smile
it’s been a while
to raise my arms
save all the farms
open my heart
for a brand new start
to see my goal
come out of my hole
tell my story
taste the glory
to settle down
no longer around
my only friend
never alone again
dying
with death so close
my mind became clear
filled with thoughts of home
empty with those of fear
to read the paper
sit in my chair
go out for a walk
breath deep the clean air
the drugs, the girls
the parties and boos
all are insignifigant
when you are about to lose
all I wanted was peace
the presence of security
a warm, handmade blanket
keeping warm my sanity
with death so close
I realized who I am
I know how to move on
now I have the plan
american boy
student of television
product of greed
money blurs his vision
parents planted the seed
always something he wants
new toys never satisfy
something new to flaunt
something new to buy
fueled by the love of money
he becomes part of the system
like bees making honey
he begins to work with them
american man
greedy, fat and tired
secretly worried about your bills
anything not to be fired
can’t you see
and fly out of the hive
you are meant to bee free
you are meant to bee alive.
shannon apollo 